Josh sat underneath the glowing flourescent lights, mindlessly doing his menial work and dreaming of being somewhere else. Although he was only 32, Josh feared that his opportunities had passed him by. All of the ambition of his youth was gone, having been sucked out of him when he turned 30. Josh's main problem in reaching any of his dreams was that he had too many dreams, which changed at his whim. In addition to being a rock star and a famous actor, Josh had also wanted to be a restaurant owner, a trash truck driver and a lawyer.
In the end, being unable to decide on any one of these careers, Josh ended up as a Marketing Research Specialist. What this meant to Josh was that he was to come in each day, check his e-mail, look at some nudey sites on the web, spend 2 or 3 hours catching up on the latest corporate gossip at the soda machine, avoid his boss as much as possible, see how long over an hour he could extend his lunch break, and to leave as early as possible. Any remaining time was used for daydreaming. With that kind of schedule Josh didn't see much room for work, and, consequently, he didn't do much of it. The amazing thing, at least to Josh, was that nobody seemed to notice. Nobody said a word to him or ever asked him about any of the things he was supposed to be working on. In an attempt to fool people into thinking he was actually working quite hard, Josh would start typing madly on his computer every time somebody walked by his office. To further the effect, he would also get a very concentrated looking scowl on his face. He had found that people really thought you were working hard and would leave you alone if there was a flurry of activity, in this case the typing, in your office and you looked upset about something. So far, none of Josh's superiors had talked to him in over three months.
Josh settled down to his cappucino he had just purchased at the commissary and began daydreaming about being a rockstar as he let the drink cool. He pictured himself up on a giant stage, with his band playing behind him and fireworks and explosions happening to the side of the stage. He peered out on the audience of screaming thousands, each individual in love with Josh and what his lyrics meant to them. Josh played a neat little guitar riff and broke into his hit song:
Da-da-duh-dud I'm gonna love you
Da-da-duh-duh Until you love me
Why can't you understand Da-da-da
We were meant to be
The audience screamed and applauded wildly. Josh began to....shit, his boss was coming.
Josh began pounding madly on his keyboard, gobbledygook appearing on his computer screen. "Josh, we're having a meeting in fifteen minutes in the conference room, so try to finish up what you're doing by then." His boss walked on. Josh settled back into his daydream, attempting to have it finished in fifteen minutes.
Josh listened as some man he had never seen before talked about the company's strategic plan for the upcoming fiscal year. He had no idea what any of it meant and, to be honest, Josh thought, the only way he could be involved in improving the company's strategic plan was if they fired him. Josh chuckled at this thought, but quickly stifled his grin lest somebody at the meeting expect him to speak. He was certain that if that ever happened they would quickly realize that he did absolutely nothing all day long.
As the unknown man droned on and on, Josh decided to use that time to review stupid things that people did that seemed to make no sense to him. Of course, the first that came to mind was working hard or taking a senseless job seriously. People at his office were always so engrossed in their job but as far as Josh could tell they did nothing that a 3 year old with some good reading skills couldn't accomplish in half the time. And, to make matters even more puzzling, he was pretty certain that if any of them failed to do their job, it would make no impact whatsoever on the day to day operations of the business. In fact, he figured that they could eliminate about half the stuff with no noticeable effect at all on production. How could anybody take a job like that seriously? Surely, greater joy could be gotten by blowing off your work and hanging around the soda machine. It had worked for Josh so far.
That was all Josh had time for. The unknown man finished his speech and people began applauding. Josh clapped along, still having no idea who the hell the man was. Apparently the meeting was over because people began filing out of the conference room. Josh made his way out of the room and down the hall, trying to distance himself from the rest of the crowd before somebody spotted him and asked him to do some work. At the other end of the corridor he spotted Suzie.
Josh pretended to pick at his fingernails, his concentration thoroughly focused on them. His mind struggled for something witty to say but all he could think about were Three's Company episodes. Suzie looked bored, waiting for him to finish so she could move on. She was always so eager to return to work. Josh could never understand what made people wanna work so hard at their mindless dribble. But for Suzie he made an exception. She was gorgeous and his heart sped up a little every time he caught a glimpse of her. For her, Josh's rules were widely bent and even broken. She did not have to fit into any of his ideals. "How was the weekend?" he finally uttered.
Suzie looked agitated. "It was good. How was yours?"
"It was okay. What did you do?"
"Josh, I'm really in a hurry. I haven't got time right now." Suzie walked off without even glancing back at him.
Josh pretended not to care and went back to picking his nails as if that was the only reason he existed. He continued standing in the middle of the hall until she reached the end of it and turned left. Then he headed off to the soda machine.
There had to be some gossip going on at the soda machine. Josh entered the room where the soda machine was kept, digging in his pocket for two quarters. His friend Sam the janitor sat at the table near the soda machine. Josh's Suzie-induced dimness brightened. Sam was always good for at least a few minutes of conversation and sometimes he even had something interesting to say. As far as Josh could tell, he was the only person in the office who bothered to talk to Sam. And as far as Josh could tell, Sam was the only person in the office who wasn't in a rush to get back to work.
Josh plunked his two quarters into the machine. "Hey Sam."
"Hi J." Sam continued staring out the window.
"Do you know Suzie?" Josh asked.
Sam thought for a moment. Or at least Josh thought that's what he was doing. For all he knew, Sam was ignoring him altogether. That wasn't unprecedented. "Yeah. Pretty brunette on the second floor?"
Josh grinned. "Yeah." He sipped from his soda. "She's a bitch," he said for no particular reason.
Sam laughed. "Yep."
Today was not turning out to be an interesting one, Josh thought. He got up to leave but sat back down because he didn't have any place to go and he was certain that if he went back to his desk, work would find him. Even a boring Sam was better than work.
Contact me at: ixpata@yahoo.com if you want to hear more.
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