It was an ordinary Tuesday evening at our house. I was doing my homework at the kitchen table, mom was cleaning her fishing lines and daddy was busy with the big wad of gum stuck in my little brother Bobby's bright orange hair.
Maybe it was the way Bobby whined or maybe daddy felt sorry for chopping off so much of that orange mop, but something inspired daddy to tell one of his "Cross My Heart and Hope ta Die!" stories.
Daddy tilted his head to one side, admiring his work as Bobby sat on the kitchen counter wearing a bath towel like a super hero cape and sniffling at his reflection in the toaster.
"Stop yer whinin' Bobby ol' boy, you don't look near as bad as a boy I used to know…"
Daddy closed his eyes and scratched his chin. We knew we were in for a story whether we wanted one or not.
"Yep, Bob L. Gum was his name. Nobody ever seemed to know what that L. stood for…though some believed it was for 'Lunch.' It's funny how sometimes people's names end up fitting them better than a halo on an angel. But Bob L. Gum weren't no angel, though he did manage to grant the wishes of the entire Bubbaville Elementary School early one summer…
He sat right behind me in Mrs. Chomper's class, second row, fourth seat. I remember it as plain as these scissors in my hand. There were only about three more weeks of school left before our summer break, but the weather had gone on vacation early. It was powerful hot! We'd outgrown our school clothes like caterpillars busting their skins, which made it nearly impossible to sit and listen to Mrs. Chomper. All we could think about was swimming, fishing and riding our bikes.
But just trying to think was hard with Bob L. Gum behind me. Ya see, even though we weren't supposed to have gum at school, Bob always sneaked it in. And everyday, all day long, I'd hear the 'smack, chomp, smack' as he chawed a wad.
What I didn't know, was that Bob wasn't just chewin' gum...he was stockpiling it! I didn't notice it right off. But the Sapodilla sisters - they were twins, Sadie and Sophie, who sat right behind Bob - they saw. In fact, they usually saw everything everybody in our class did and they were great at spreadin' rumors. Just two weeks before, they'd turned my best buddy, Jimbo Gumbo, against me. They told him they heard me saying his new Silver Tornado bike looked like an army tank, when, what I'd really said was it was as strong as a tank (at least that's what I'd meant).
Anyway, when Sadie whispered something to me at recess about Bob's pile of used gum, I had to see for myself. After recess, I took a peek under his desk and there it was: a faded pink island of gloppy goo that could fill up Australia on Mrs. Chomper's pull-down map!
Continued
