A married couple were asleep when the phone
rang at 2 in the morning, the wife (A blonde), picked up the phone, listened
a moment and said, "How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!" and
hung up. The husband said, "Who was that?" the wife said, "I don't know,
some young woman wanting to know 'if the coast is clear."
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a compact on
the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks in the
mirror and says, "Hmm, this person looks familiar." The second blonde
says, "Here, let me see!" So the first blonde hands her the compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, "You dummy, it's me!"
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so she goes out
and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when she
opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead. Well, the blonde
is really angry. She opens her purse to take out the gun, and as she
does so she is overcome with grief. She takes the gun and puts it to
her head. The boyfriend yells, "No,honey, don't do it." The blonde replies,
"Shut up, you're next."
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state capitals. She proudly
says, "Go ahead, ask me, I know all of them." A friend says, "O.K.,what's
the capital of Wisconsin?" The blonde replies, "Oh, that's easy, W.
What did the blonde say to her doctor when he told her she was pregnant?
"Is it mine?"
A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously,
she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was
applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived. "My God!" the
trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on
by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?" "Yes officer, I'm just fine!" the
blonde chirped. "Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer
asked as she surveyed the wrecked car. "Officer, it was the strangest
thing!" the blonde began. "I was driving along this road when from out
of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me, so I swerved to the right,
and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER
tree! I swerved to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to
the left and there was "Uh, ma'am," the officer said, cutting her off.
"There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener
swinging back and forth.
