My divorce was one of the hardest things I have ever faced. One might ask how I coped with the stress. Many turn to alcohol, womanizing or drugs. I turned to a sport. The five best reasons for a newly divorced male to learn the sport of golf are anger management, relationship development, emotional strength building, constructive enlightenment and strategies for the future.
Anger Management
In a perfect world, divorce would be like anything else. Each person in the marriage would calmly mediate a separation of personal and physical aspects of the marriage. Unfortunately, this is not a perfect world. Lots of anger and rage can develop in a divorce. How can one manage this anger. By playing golf, I have learned to use the golf ball as a way of releasing my stress and anger. By simply picturing my ex wife's face painted on the ball, I now have a way of releasing my stress and anger. By swinging the club, smacking the ex-wife's head, and watching her fly off, I gain the satisfaction of knowing that control was maintained. This can also effect the accuracy of one's game. I have only been playing for about 6 months, but I can drive nearly 250 yards very accurately. I owe it all to my ex!
Relationship Development
Many divorcees find it difficult to get back into the single life. The best thing I did was to get involved in a relationship as soon as the divorce was final. My relationship is terrific. Many people think that one should wait before getting involved again, but I did not, and I am happy. My golf clubs have never let me down. My clubs are caring and understanding, and are great listeners. They never nag, and if I do not give them attention, they never complain. My golf clubs are beautiful, and I will never look at another club. Well all right, I was looking at some graphite drivers the other day, but hey, they were beauties!
Emotional Strength Building
Coping with every day life without my spouse can be challenging at times, but I have really learned emotional strength through golf. As a group of golfers make their way through the holes, many times divorcees may become emotional about divorce. The key is to set some ground rules with the golfing group. If I begin to cry, sob, or speak about "good times" with my ex, my golfing buddies will tackle me to the ground, poor beer on me, and give me a wedgie. You will not believe how I have learned self control over my emotions.
Constructive Enlightenment
After experiencing my divorce, I now know that I did not live enough for myself. I really was the husband that did everything for my spouse, giving up my own simple pleasures. Though it has been difficult, I have begun enjoying activities that I like. Golf is my main area of constructive enlightenment. What great fun it is to enjoy the outdoors, play a relaxing game, and be competitive at the same time.
My favorite aspect of the game of golf is the golf cart derby. After consuming at least one six-pack of beer each, my golfing group will pair up and race each other to the next hole in the golf carts. The rules are there are no rules. Many consider this to be dangerous, but we have not ever had any casualties. However, one thing to remember is that golf carts do not and will never float.
Strategies for Future Life
Golfing does prepare me for the future. By having miniature goals, and reaching them, reaching a bigger goal can be accomplished. Many of the goals I have set previously have already been accomplished. Learning how to keep score was one of the goals that I have reached. No more will I have to pretend to know what handicap or bogey mean. Another goal that I am close to reaching is finishing an 18-hole course and still being able to walk. Learning the art of golfing under the influence is tricky, but with enough practice, virtually everyone can accomplish this. The larger goal that I am trying to reach is the perfect game. The score means little, but having a good time, lots of laughs, not thinking about the ex-wife, and not losing every damned ball I own defines the perfect game for me.
