You have to try on a pair of sunglasses with that
stupid little plastic thing in the middle of them.
The person behind you in the supermarket runs his
cart into the back of your ankle.
The elevator stops on every floor and nobody gets on.
There's always a car riding your tail when you're
slowing down to find an address.
You open a can of soup and the lid falls in.
It's bad enough that you step in dog poop, but you
don't realize it till you walk across your living
room rug.
The tiny red string on the Band-Aid wrapper never
works for you.
There's a dog in the neighborhood that barks at
EVERYTHING.
You can never put anything back in a box the way it
came.
Three hours and three meetings after lunch, you look
in the mirror and discover a piece of parsley stuck
to your front tooth.
You drink from a soda can in which someone has
extinguished a cigarette.
You slice your tongue licking an envelope.
Your tire gauge lets out half the air while you're
trying to get a reading.
A station comes in brilliantly when you're standing
near the radio but buzzes, drifts and spits every
time you move away.
There are always one or two ice cubes that won't pop
out of the tray.
You wash a garment with a tissue in the pocket and
your entire laundry comes out covered with lint.
The car behind you blasts its horn because you let a
pedestrian finish crossing.
A piece of foil candy wrapper makes electrical
contact with your filling.
You set the alarm on your digital clock for 7pm
instead of 7am.
The radio station doesn't tell you who sang that
song.
You rub on hand cream and can't turn the bathroom
doorknob to get out.
People behind you in the supermarket line dash ahead
of you to a counter just opening up.
Your glasses slide off your ears when you perspire.
You can't look up the correct spelling of a word in
the dictionary because you don't know how to spell
it.
You have to inform five different salespeople in the
same store that you're just browsing.
You had that pen in your hand only a second ago and
now you can't find it.
You reach under the table to pick something off the
floor and smash your head on the way back up.
